April 10, 2007
Well, I’ll be hitting 30 days of being clean and sober from Rx Narcotic prescription pain medication on Friday the 13th and will Celebrate it at CR. I’m am very grateful for this. It has meant so much to me to be free from that bondage…..
But I do ask God a few questions. I know Pastor Glen has a series coming up regarding asking questions and doubts.
Here are mine:
The migraines are back. The headaches are back. This is the reason why I was put on the pain meds to begin with. But I refuse to go back. I did not detox and go through all that and are still going through recovery for nothing. I did it to cleans and purify myself for my Lord and Savior. But why are the migraines back? Why am I still inflicted with these awful headaches? Is God trying to tell me something? Is God trying to show me something? Is God testing me? I have not once, not even once cursed him. I have not once even thought of using the pain meds again. I even saw my Dr and told him I refuse to go back. I refuse for my detox and purifying my body, be for nothing. I did it for my Lord. Though he is not a follower of Jesus, he understands my faith. So does my psychiatric Doctor. They understand my Faith and know that I am a woman of God.
Is God testing me? Is he wondering if I’ll choose to go back. But God knows the future. I refuse it. I will NOT go back to using! But I believe or am I wrong that Satan, the enemy can not do anything without permission from God? As he did with Job? Can Satan be trying to attack me, in hopes that I’ll go back. But God knowing I won’t. I won’t go back, I won’t curse my Lord or God. I may ask why? I may feel discouraged and even depressed because of them, but I wonder, will this be my “thorn in my side” as John has described in his gospels?
Is it wrong for me to question God? To wonder why he hasn’t healed me, even though I have asked this in Jesus Christ name? Is my faith wavering? No, it’s not…. That’s the lies of the devil. I rebuke him in my Lords name. My faith is not wavering. My faith is strong. I maybe in pain for now, but in my Lord’s time, He WILL heal ME. In His time HE WILL HEAL ME AND RESTORE ME! This is the truth I hold on too and no demon of pain or of the flesh will take that away from me. I do not claim these headaches. They are demons of Satan sent to attack me…. Why? Why would God allow it? Is He testing me and my faith? I rebuke you Satan and your little, worthless demons. Lord, send them where you command them to go and where they can not bother me any longer. I ask this in your name Jesus Christ. For you say in your word that if I ask anything in your name it will be given to me. I ask for healing, restoration of my body and all it functions. I ask that all the vessels in my brain function normally as if the migraines never we’re. I ask this in your healing hands and name, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
I will continue to hold on to you and your truths and your word in my heart. I turn my life, my will, my recovery and my body to you God and may you work your miracles within me. I ask this in you and your Son’s Holy Names. Amen
Anamarie Merino
A Faithful and Grateful Follower and Believer in Jesus Christ
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Friday, April 6, 2007
My Story
April 4, 2007
My Story as told & written by Anamarie Merino
I will never, ever forget my first time at Celebrate Recovery. It was December 8th, 2006. We, my husband and I, we’re met there by Bob Hayes & Bobbie Mellas. Who are part of the benevolence team for Pantano Christian Church. Is the day that God began to work in our lives? I’d say, “No.” He began to work in our life months prior to this 1st meeting at CR. Before I can continue what CR and God has done, I must back track a bit in our/my timeline.
In July of 2006 we, my husband and I, turned to God for help and direction in our life. A storm had hit and it hit hard, to say the least. The following month, August, the trials began. Was this a test of our faith? I’d say yes. Was this a test of our trust in the Lord? I’d say yes again. As Jesus once told his disciples, you will be persecuted because of me. We’re we? Yes, we we’re and in that month of August we literary fled Egypt in the middle of the night. We didn’t know where we we’re going to go, or what we we’re going to do, but we just trusted God and followed his direction. By God’s grace we we’re allowed to stay in an empty apt that a fellow brother and sister was moving out of. We stayed there, slept on the floor as we saved and waited for our own apt to open up. This story is a story in itself.
Anyhow, we continued to trust God and his direction in our life. He placed people in our life that lead us to a meeting with Bob Hayes and Bobbie Mellas in late November 2006. We did receive and generously at that, help from Pantano & the benevolence team.
On December 1st, 2006…. The storm and trial’s we we’re going through seemed to have no end. I no longer wanted to live. I couldn’t handle the heartache I felt. The despair that lingered day and night. The hopelessness I felt… There aren’t words to describe it. That night I tired to take my life. But because my husband was there, he made sure that I didn’t. Did I really want to die? Did I really want to end my life? No, I didn’t… I wanted the pain to go away. I wanted the hurt and desperation to just disappear. That night I heard two voices in my head. One would say, “It’s never going to end Ana… It’s always going to feel like this.” The other voice said even louder, “Pick up the phone and get help, NOW!” What we’re these two voices? We all know the battle in our minds. I now know who was speaking to me that night. I picked up the phone and cried out for help. On December 2nd, I was admitted into St. Mary’s Hospital, where the caring staff helped me begin to recover from my depression. I also received a visit from Bobbie at the hospital and she presented me with a bible. The same bibles we see every weekend at Sunday services. She spoke to me about God and how much he loves me, no matter what I’ve done. No one has ever told me that. No one ever shared His grace with me, nor his mercy. I thought I only ever had 1 chance with God and that I lost that chance. This, now I realize is a lie from Satan himself. God is always waiting… always loving and always forgiving. I was released from the hospital on December 7th and was invited to CR the next night.
There are 2 reason’s why that December 8th at CR have so much meaning to me. First, as I mentioned in the beginning of my story, it was our 1st invitation to CR. Secondly, it was my 36th Birthday. This is why I will never, ever forget this day. And since that day, we have been there every Friday, with the exception of a few times. God’s plan was so wonderful, that I see how he placed all these people in our life that lead us straight to CR and Pantano Christian Church.
Since then, I have learned to accept His Grace, His Mercy and His Forgiveness and most of all His Love for me… His love for Me! He loves me no matter what I’ve done in the past. My past is now the past. He has worked so many miracles of faith in my life, that I can actually say that I stepped out of the boat and walked on the water with My Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He’s not only my Savior, He’s my Redeemer, My Rescuer. My Hero!
Not only has He saved and helped me with my depression, by God’s grace and mercy, I have since let go and have recovered from my addiction to prescription pain medication. Which, of course is another story…….
All Glory to My God, My Father, My Dad and All Praise to My Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, my Knight in Shining Armor. Who loves a sinner like me so much so he saved even me. All Glory to Him!
Your Sister,
Anamarie Merino
A Faith & Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ.
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believe in him shall not perish but have eternal life”
John 3:16 NIV
My Story as told & written by Anamarie Merino
I will never, ever forget my first time at Celebrate Recovery. It was December 8th, 2006. We, my husband and I, we’re met there by Bob Hayes & Bobbie Mellas. Who are part of the benevolence team for Pantano Christian Church. Is the day that God began to work in our lives? I’d say, “No.” He began to work in our life months prior to this 1st meeting at CR. Before I can continue what CR and God has done, I must back track a bit in our/my timeline.
In July of 2006 we, my husband and I, turned to God for help and direction in our life. A storm had hit and it hit hard, to say the least. The following month, August, the trials began. Was this a test of our faith? I’d say yes. Was this a test of our trust in the Lord? I’d say yes again. As Jesus once told his disciples, you will be persecuted because of me. We’re we? Yes, we we’re and in that month of August we literary fled Egypt in the middle of the night. We didn’t know where we we’re going to go, or what we we’re going to do, but we just trusted God and followed his direction. By God’s grace we we’re allowed to stay in an empty apt that a fellow brother and sister was moving out of. We stayed there, slept on the floor as we saved and waited for our own apt to open up. This story is a story in itself.
Anyhow, we continued to trust God and his direction in our life. He placed people in our life that lead us to a meeting with Bob Hayes and Bobbie Mellas in late November 2006. We did receive and generously at that, help from Pantano & the benevolence team.
On December 1st, 2006…. The storm and trial’s we we’re going through seemed to have no end. I no longer wanted to live. I couldn’t handle the heartache I felt. The despair that lingered day and night. The hopelessness I felt… There aren’t words to describe it. That night I tired to take my life. But because my husband was there, he made sure that I didn’t. Did I really want to die? Did I really want to end my life? No, I didn’t… I wanted the pain to go away. I wanted the hurt and desperation to just disappear. That night I heard two voices in my head. One would say, “It’s never going to end Ana… It’s always going to feel like this.” The other voice said even louder, “Pick up the phone and get help, NOW!” What we’re these two voices? We all know the battle in our minds. I now know who was speaking to me that night. I picked up the phone and cried out for help. On December 2nd, I was admitted into St. Mary’s Hospital, where the caring staff helped me begin to recover from my depression. I also received a visit from Bobbie at the hospital and she presented me with a bible. The same bibles we see every weekend at Sunday services. She spoke to me about God and how much he loves me, no matter what I’ve done. No one has ever told me that. No one ever shared His grace with me, nor his mercy. I thought I only ever had 1 chance with God and that I lost that chance. This, now I realize is a lie from Satan himself. God is always waiting… always loving and always forgiving. I was released from the hospital on December 7th and was invited to CR the next night.
There are 2 reason’s why that December 8th at CR have so much meaning to me. First, as I mentioned in the beginning of my story, it was our 1st invitation to CR. Secondly, it was my 36th Birthday. This is why I will never, ever forget this day. And since that day, we have been there every Friday, with the exception of a few times. God’s plan was so wonderful, that I see how he placed all these people in our life that lead us straight to CR and Pantano Christian Church.
Since then, I have learned to accept His Grace, His Mercy and His Forgiveness and most of all His Love for me… His love for Me! He loves me no matter what I’ve done in the past. My past is now the past. He has worked so many miracles of faith in my life, that I can actually say that I stepped out of the boat and walked on the water with My Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He’s not only my Savior, He’s my Redeemer, My Rescuer. My Hero!
Not only has He saved and helped me with my depression, by God’s grace and mercy, I have since let go and have recovered from my addiction to prescription pain medication. Which, of course is another story…….
All Glory to My God, My Father, My Dad and All Praise to My Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, my Knight in Shining Armor. Who loves a sinner like me so much so he saved even me. All Glory to Him!
Your Sister,
Anamarie Merino
A Faith & Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ.
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believe in him shall not perish but have eternal life”
John 3:16 NIV
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